My little Jaeden (well... no longer "mine," I suppose) for the first time since the adjustment to his new home bit Chris (his new caretaker) in the finger, and then in the face. Apparently Jaeden took on my not being a morning person, too. Heh. Like father, like bird, I suppose. I still have to say a huge thanks to Chris & Bruce for giving him a great new home; I have NO idea how terribly things would have become if Jaeden were caught in the midst of the unholy horror that is my schedule as of now.

I go to school Monday through Friday. I had my work cut down to 4 days a week (I need to eat, nevermind pay rent!) and ever spare moment I have ought to be put towards homework; I have enough to do to fill it... Still, I can't stress enough how important it is to take SOME time to myself.

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I went through my highschool network on Facebook out of curiosity to see what had become of my previous classmates. I have to say some of them look great. Others look precisely the same. Some... I can't see on the list (and a few I will never have the chance to see again). It's funny; I've been putting a little more (stray) thought into old classmates, and yet the more I go through lists such as that, the more I want nothing to do with 95% of them, if any. Some of them behaved atrociously, and there are some very real reasons I've gone through what I have, that I have no urge to put on a false face to be "civil" to some of them. How many of you have to go through that?

I recently remembered some past friends via an Offspring song I reserve in their memory. Not that they're all dead, but some probably might wish they were, if my information on them is correct. Most of those still "around" have fallen so very far...

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I have to admit, I like my brother's camera. I haven't yet played with it, but it's my hope that HE might, and photography could be a hobby we have in common. It'd be nice; but his camera will always put mine to shame, I'm thinking. Ahh, well.

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One of my two best friends (I have one for a more social aspect of my life, and one for a more introverted -- and kinda geeky -- aspect of my life [then again, both are geeks in their own right, so...]) is in severe pain. He's had a spinal injury for over a year now, and he's practically being played with by the doctors. At one point he was a candidate for surgery, and now after waiting so long for another appointment, he is no longer -- and he has to wait AGAIN. Like he did the six times before. He's on a ridiculous amount of morphine for the pain, and by all rights HE SHOULD BE AT SCHOOL with me. He put in far too much effort -- even when he should have been in BED -- to get to the academic level he's at, and it kills him (and me a little) to leave it to waste while his friends keep going.

NEVER let it be said that Canada has a perfect healthcare system. It's overworked, understaffed, and takes bloody ages to get stuff done. Yes, it's government-funded, but that benefit only goes so far when you're in pain and your lifestyle has gone from the life of the party to not being able to even get out of bed because of the pain. FOR A YEAR, without even knowing what can be done about it. Had he been able to afford it, American doctors could have examined him, treated him, and aided in his recovery long ago. The medicine and the doctors are there, it's just a matter of being able to get to them.

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I no longer feel like a monster, as per the previous journal entry. I feel I've mistreated, and done harm, but I don't feel like a monster. It makes me wonder just how much a hindrance poor communication might be. Hell, it makes me wonder if what I HAVE communicated is sufficient to sustain what we have.

Some people can lie like it's a second language. Some people have difficulty with it. I find it damn-near impossible to lie, but even then when truth is forced to be my ally, what is worse: to only speak the truth if it can't be communicated, or to be able to lie when it's never going to get the outcome you want?

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... Why the hell do I get so thoughtful and talkative in my head just before I decide to go to bed?

-J